Dealing with Aloofs

Dealing with Aloofs   *** A "ALOOFS" *** Robert Elias NajemyIn as fragile, that the distances from others, or avoidingmeaningful honest emotional contact. In this way, we are less likely tobe injured or man? S, negative emotions, desires or demands.1. We hide the Intimidator? S attack, the interrogation? S Inquisition and the victim? S complaints.2. Besides protecting us, after us, our feelings and notexpressing positive or negative, we also value gainself other research us.Some contact aloofs are secretly hoping that some of us. Wesecretly desire their attention, but can not free enough of our role toapproach them. The energy and the confirmation by the onewho approaches his victim company.If other controls through their feelings of responsibility andguilt which controls the other away from their need for contact with orattention to give them the attention and emotional exchange . We can help aloofs in our lives from the first ever free ideasthat are not with us, because we somethingwrong. If you want to take a long silence to face, not to mention, they have theright. Allow me to be responsible for the fact that they create choseto. *** I sent to a distance of *** We can therefore their use, perhaps something like this. "Sir, I have something important that I want to thank you andif you answer me that would be wonderful. There are times in silence whichyou seems expressionlessness or sad or even angry. During this time, when they do not know what you feel or think, sometimes I think thatperhaps I have done what you've offended or hurt, or maybe youd love me no more. I also think that no haveenough confidence in me, and do not feel quite so close to me with mewhat feel. Then I begin to doubt my self-worth as a spouse (orperhaps role of parents or others). "When I see and how these interpretations, then I will try sometimesapproach to find out what happens. Sometimes it is necessary to react andothers not. This worries me even more. I feel bad and I believe that it does not matter to me or our relationship. "It is now clear that it is not? T pressure help to communicate with me.I is trying to leave that for you. I just want you to know that I and I loveyou and need to know more about what you andthinking feeling, but I have to leave that to you. And if, in fact, or do Ihave to do something that offends you or evil, are much desired tohear. not me not me, if I do something that you're conceed about. "I try to give you all the space you need to feel that if youwant to communicate with me to take." Do you have anything you want to contact me at the moment? "Now we look at a possible way to disassociate with a" There you have one problem and it is closed, because he fears openly. I also want to remind you that I am not responsible for this reaction. I remind you that I am worthy and safe and able to solve my problems, even if he never opened up.I keep the pressure on him and give him space to be alone so that he begins to gradually their needs in terms of contact with me.I told him that I need more communication and you want to, but I see the negative results of pressure or annoying him about it. I also declare that I will be happy if I could, if considered necessary for a deeper level, however, that from this moment I will begin to take responsibility for my needs and my life. I will stop feeling that I am to blame for his silence, and I intend to establish themselves in various activities that I meet and the meaning of my life. I would also like to explain that I would be very happy for him to participate in such acts with me, he so wish. I will stop waiting for him to open and will focus on my responsibility, my creativity, my process of growth and leaing. I have many other things in my life that I can give happiness. And if it was in vein, I want to enjoy my communication with him. (Adapted from the forthcoming "relations conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy. His book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available and under his writings may be, where you can also free articles and eBooks. About the Author Robert Najemy Elias is author of more than 600 articles, 400 cassettes Conference on Human Rights Harmony and 20 books, more than 100,000 copies sold. He is the founder and director of the Center for a harmonious life in Greece with 3700 members. His book "The psychology of happiness, ISBN 0-9710116-0-5 and is available at. You can download free articles and eBooks.